School's out!!!

Though I'm still pretty apprehensive about writing this, I've been given a push this morning and so, with fingers crossed, I can say that I've completed my degree in French Studies... !!!
As some of you may know,  I've been holding back on my celebrations, since writing my final exam on Monday, because I've been terrified that my grades will come back to haunt me and that I'll be required to take another semester - thereby turning my celebrations into some sad, drunken mess of 'Whyyyy meeee????'s .

I'm still slightly concerned about one of my marks, but after a call into the school, I've decided to let my hair down a little and accept that I'm a university graduate. I am tentatively saying 'IT'S OVERRRR!!!!!.... I hope' (seriously... waiting for the cruel joke here...).

I'm not usually a pessimist.
I'm more of a realist, with an optimistic habit.
Taking 6 courses this semester, however, means that the realist in me is shouting 'NO WAY did you pass all those! Get your head out of the clouds.'
This is probably because in first year, I took a semester of only 4 courses, and managed to fail one. Leaving me to make up for 2 missed marks - explaining the 6 courses of the semester in question - and telling me that I'm really not  the student who can tackle a buttload of courses at once.
So yes, there's a reason I'm so hung up on my grades.
And I'm throwing it to the wind!
Let me believe, at least until I see that transcript, that I'm successful in my efforts, because my god did I ever kill myself this semester in text books (and study snacks).
I'm telling myself that it was all worth it.

SOOO worth the crazy. 

No more school? For how long? Will my BA be enough? Will I want to pursue grad school? Teacher's college?
I can see myself on the cover of a pamphlet in a guidance counsellor's office, 'Graduating? What now?' it says, with my head tilted and pensive - as if the clouds had the answers.
I'm just such an indecisive person, and at such a turning point in my life, I'm driving myself a little crazy.

But then I take a step back.
I'm 21. Who says these choices have to be made right now?
The only choices that matter to me today are how to make money to see the world. So by following my own question, I know exactly what I'll be doing for the next year or two.
I'm gonna find a job, whether it pays well or not, I just need an income.
I'm gonna work until I've got a happy looking bank account again.
I'm subsequently going to rip that account open, and pour it into plane tickets, accommodations and maybe a fancy camera.

I could take this on a point-n-shoot, right?

Because who cares about grad school right now? Who cares about what I'll be doing for the next 40 years of my life? That can wait until I'm ready.
Right now,  I get some me-time.
And it's telling me that spanish isn't learned in a classroom, it's learned in Spain or South America or Mexico. And teaching english abroad doesn't happen with your Master's, it happens with an online course I can take over the summer.

One thing at a time folks, I'll figure myself out.
But until then...
I'M DONE WITH SCHOOL!!!!

**apologies for the existential-crisis-y post.
***you should watch this now.